Who Am I

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am…
I am Yours…I am Yours

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
And watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours

I am Yours…I am Yours

Whom shall I fear?...Whom shall I fear?

'Cause I am Yours…I am Yours

thanks to the new cell im going to every friday, im learning great new songs every week. and i just love this one. You're the one I'm looking for O Lord. I am Yours.

i love kids.

im back! yey! haha. naku what a day.

We just had our first GA [general assembly : organization meeting] for this semester from 5-7pm. Although it was fun and all that, i found myself a little disappointed after the meeting.. When the issue about us wanting to do an outreach program tutoring high school kids in Payatas, one of our orgmates asked "What will we get from that?" I was telling myself, It's called an outreach program. We're supposed to be thinking of what we can give, what we can help other people with and NOT what we can get back from it. Reaching out is all about doing good things and i dont think doing good things should have any 'motives'. But that's not the thing that got me disappointed, it's actually her answer to her own question that made me frowning so bad inside. She said with a laugh, "Maybe we'll get skin diseases.." [reaching out = skin diseases] Whatever. I really DONT like hearing things like that even if it's just a joke for them. Because for one thing, it's not a joke. And even if it's a joke, well it's NOT funny. I was thinking, if i was from Payatas, would you still befriend me? would you talk to me?

I really felt sad about this so i went to the chapel before i go home. After i got out of the chapel, a little poor boy selling sampaguita leis approached me. I dont actually recognize him so i talked to him. I asked his name. [he told me but i forgot, i have short term memory for names for short encounters really] Anyway, he's 13, lives in Balara and he said he still goes to school. Studying, that's good to know. It somehow lifted my spirit up. But when i asked where his mom is, he told me she's home sleeping. Oh my gosh, this poor little kid's out on the streets alone and in the night trying to help his family and his mom's at home sleeping! I dont think i should ask questions like this to these kids anymore.. When he answered me about his mom, he had that sad sad sad look in his eyes.. Anyway, i bought the 4 remaining sampaguitas so he can go back home. I just know that he wont go home w/o selling all the flowers. I asked him if it's okay for him to put the flowers in the church, he smiled and said yes he'll give it to Mama Mary. :)

God bless everyone. ^_^

paranoid.

omigosh i cant believe alyssa actually told me-ann [her ie friend i just met hours ago.] about the guy im "crushing" on for almost 4 years na! [since 1st yr 1st sem of college] haha. :D okay lang naman kase parang di naman niya ipagkakalat. pero natatawa lang ako kase im the kind of person who doesnt tell other people the names of guys i so like. the only people who gets to know stuffs like that are my closest friends. meaning family/housemates/some old friends. ewan ko talaga. naalala ko tuloy siya. hay. but he's taken eh. :( after ages of not visiting his friendster, kanina dumalaw ako. may pic sila ni girl. answeet. nalungkot naman daw ako. haha. :p

Makasalan tayo.

grabe. eto na naman ako.. hay.. hindi ko alam kung ano bang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko. parang andami-daming dapat gawin sa mundo pero andito lang ako palagi sa boarding house.. aral ng aral sa mga subjects na hindi naman para sakin.. hindi talaga ako magaling sa kanila eh.. pero go pa rin ako. naniniwala kase akong hindi ko rin naman to pagsisisihan. ano bang sabi ko sa sarili ko noon? sabi ko basta, grumaduate ka ng CE para ke daddy. ayun tapos.

hay. bakit ba ako ganyan, feeling ko ang selfish ko na ngayon kase palagi kong "pinapalaki" yung mga problema ko sa buhay pero mas marami pang tao ang mas naghihirap at nagdudusa sa kung anu-ano mang pangyayari sa buhay nila na mas grabe pa sa akin..

hindi ko na ata kaya pang mabuhay ng mas matagal sa mundo. ewan ko ba. ang hirap-hirap kase eh. ang sakit-sakit sa puso. sobra.

parang kelan lang nabalitaan natin yung nangyari sa Burma. tapos ngayon sa China na naman. grabe na-shock ako sa earthquake na yun. sa twing mababasa ko yung PDI tas me mga kawawang pictures pa hindi ko talaga mapigilang matigilan at parang natutunaw yung puso ko para sa mga taong naiwanan ng minamahal. parang omigosh, what's happening? lahat-lahat na lang nangyayari. sunod-sunod pa.. pero sa huli, parang ayun parang walang nangyari balik ako sa kwarto at mag-aral na muli at makipagkwentuhan sa mga roomies ko.

grabe. hindi ko tlaga mapigilan ang emosyon ko. sobrang makasalanan na talaga ang mundo.. ayoko nang dumagdag pa.. gusto ko ng makapiling si Papa Jesus. para kaseng hindi ko na kaya pang makarinig ng kung anu-anong kamalasan o aksidente o kadramahan sa buhay. well kaya ko pa naman shempre, nageexaggerate lang ako pero kase, ako kase minsan may pagkaintrovert lang tlga ako, so lahat ng mga problema, problema sa pamilya ko, problema ko sa mga kapwa-pilipino, sa mga streetchildren jan, ke manong na may cancer pero ayaw magpatulong, sa mga aso't pusa jan sa kalye, sa mga punong pinuputol.. blah blah. ewan sasabog na ata puso ko sa dalamhating nararamdaman ko. feeling ko kase ano ba jen, anong ginagawa mo? may MALAKING tulong ka bang nagagawa talaga sa kapwa mo? hanggang sa pagbibigay lang ng kaunting pera't mga pagkain yung nagagawa ko palagi.. sa pagngiti-ngiti at ilang minutong pakikipagkwentuhan na sana makakapagpaisip sa kanila na may mabubuting tao pa na nagaalala sa kanila. pero parang ngayon feeling ko ang useless ko eh. hanggang dun na lang ako. hanggang dun pa lang ata yung kaya ko eh..

naalala ko tuloy yung homily ni Fr. Jboy nung etong sunday lang. tinanong niya kami, "Ano ang passion ninyo sa buhay? Nasaan ang passion ninyo?" sa loob-loob ko, nasa pagtulong ang passion ko. iba kase eh. ibang-ibang kaligayahan na walang kasing pure and refreshing tlga pag nakakatulong ka sa kapwa lalo na sa mga estranghero. kaya nga siguro isa eto sa mga dahilan kung bakit gustong-gusto ko talagang maging doktor. isa sa mga tuwinang daydreams ko kase kunwari nakakatulong ako sa kapwa ko - kunwari duktor na daw ako tapos may pasyente akong walang-wala, mga tipong asa probinsya ako tapos may isang pamilyang nagmamakaawa na gamutin yung mahal nila sa buhay kaya tas to the rescue ako na hindi ko na sisingilin, omigosh haha ang sama ko talaga. bat ganyan yung mga iniisip ko. parang pinamumukha ko ata talaga kung pano kahalaga ang pera't estado sa buhay. sorry po pero yung sa akin lang, ansarap-sarap kaseng isipin yung mga ngiti't walang kasing-halagang pasasalamat na maaari nilang ipambayad sa akin. yun lang MASAYA na ako. masayang-masaya. :) sa tuwing makikipagpalitan kase ako ng mga ngiti sa mga estranghero hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti sa tuwa't kausapin si Lord. bakit ganyan kayo? ambuti-buti ninyo! ^_^ talagang minsan parang ikaw na palagi yung kangitian ko. i love you. super. :)

hay. ay naku jen. wala ka talagang logic magkwento. anu ba yan. kanina habang sinisimulan ko tong blog na to ambigat-bigat ng puso ko kase naaalala ko yung mga trahedyang nangyayari ngayon. tas ngayon ngiting-ngiti na naman ako kase naiisip ko kung gaano kabuti si Lord. hay. sa twing kakantahin na lang sa simbahan yung Kordero ng Diyos [Lamb of God] eh hindi ko talaga mapigilang maging teary-eyed. talagang makasalanan na talaga ang mundo pero mahal pa rin tayo ng Panginoon. wala na tlaga siyang kasinggaling. da best siya!

God bless everyone. :)

Im blessed. Truly.

Hi guys!  wow. i cant believe my last post was 4 months ago pa talaga. Hay parang nawawala na xanga ah.. hello sa mga nagpopost pa rin, hi ate tish! :)

Okay. I want to talk about what's been happening with my life lately.. Pasensha na, minsan i just want to write all my thoughts down. wala pa kase akong journal na as in notebook. im still waiting for my long-awaited gift from m.phlip, my own Moleskine. yahoo! :)

So yeah, alam niyo ba guys, i feel so blessed right now eventhough parang sabay-sabay na dumadating lahat ng test ni God para saken ngayon. and i really wanna share this feeling to you guys.

for those who dont know, im parent-less. (is there such a word ba?). anyway, my mom died when i was 2 months old. while my dad, passed away last summer, may 7, 2007. so yeah. ayun.
tapos for a year (almost 2 semesters in college), im still undecided if i should continue my civil engineering course for my dad or shift to nursing for my siblings at para my relatives would stop bugging me na. [they are really persistent guys. for 3 years, whenever they see me, the word 'nursing' cant be missed.]
and blah blah blah..

hay. just imagine what i am going through right now. even i cant imagine all the drama in my life. talagang nakakaloka, im the person kase na as much as possible, i stay away from drama. both real life & television dramas. kaya nga i usually watch comedies only.. kaya siguro may pagka-plastic akong tao, well in a way. naku, maybe one of the best talents i have is not to make other people see the sad, depressed, & crying jenjen. ewan ko ba, i just grew up not wanting to let other people feel miserable because of me. kaya as much as possible, even when im not ok, i smile and show other people na im worry-free.

a little kwento muna, natatawa lang ako sa kawirduhan ko. sobrang plastic ko talaga nakupo. i remember, last summer, ive summer class, physics 73 @ 7am tas math55 ng hapon yata. anyway, when my sister was telling me na parang di okay si daddy and all that, super kinakabahan talaga ako. parang i felt something was not right. so yeah, when my sister was calling me way early in the morning na bigla ngang napasugod sa hospital si dad and all that tas ganun ganyan, im just acting strong tas when i met ate abu sa kitchen, she told me i looked as if i have a prob, pero with a smile i said dont worry ala akong problem. eto pa eto pa, nagugulat ako sa sarili ko, around 630 am i found out my dad passed away. shempre, all the drama happened along the G.Apacible street of Area 3 in UP Campus, Diliman. [faith & alys were with me].. so ayun, pero di ako nagpapilit, pumasok ako sa 730am class ko guys. i feel strange. grabe, i remember not talking much to paolo and mc. when they were asking kung anong meron ganyan ganito, i just remember smiling at them, telling them nothing's wrong. nahihiya nga ako ngayon, feeling ko nawirduhan talaga sila saken.

pero guys, believe me, despite all of these current dramas in my life, i feel so blessed. i feel like the Lord is so near, like He's just beside me. indeed, the Lord is closer to those who are mourning.

Dahil sa lahat ng nangyayari saken and sa family ko, nagugulo pag-iisip ko pati yung focus ko sa acads. pero sa lahat ng ito parang kebs lang. alam niyo yun, parang kase im learning na wag dibdibin ang mga bagay-bagay. as long as i know na i have my faith in God, di nya ko pababayaan. parang, sige lahat na gawin niyo sakin Lord, as in everything. i will accept it. I will never lose my faith in You. My dear Lord Jesus, You alone are the reason why i am still breathing. gosh. i am so thankful talaga for seeing You in every other person ive met in Diliman. talagang You have your ways.

Hay. im so makwento no? :) Tas lam niyo ba guys, kanina, we had a talk here in pinkhouse [my boardinghouse in UPD]. every sem kase we have a guest speaker to have a talk w/ us about whatever topic wonderful to talk about. tas kanina nga, it's about Work Ethics. tas our guest speaker was Fr. Jboy Gonzales. He's like the coolest priest in UPD, jan sa Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. He's the student's mass priest palagi kase kwela and bata pa. Tas more info, he's the priest in the latest Pinoy Big Brother edition. basta yung palaging andun.

Anyway, the talk was so great. He was relating the discussion of work ethics on christianism and alam niyo na. we were having the greatest time talaga kanina. tas when he was asking kung sino taga Visayas, i said me, tas asked where, i said Aklan, he asked specifically, i said Kalibo. he's sort of surprised, asked my last name, i said Kimpo. then asked me if a was related to the Legaspi's, no. How about the Gonzales', i said yes, my lola is a Gonzales. then he was so funny, he held his hand telling me to bless, shempre go! hehe. he said they're from Makato. indeed my lola was from Makato. that was a funny moment, everyone was laughing. We were related pala! hehe. Then suddenly, our landlady, ma'am maria told him about me being in a situation, having no parents tas pressure sa family tas yung course issues. hay gosh, i was smiling pero i cant stop crying silently. and again sa harap ng housemates ko for like the 2nd or 3rd time? si ma'am talaga hilig akong paiyakin. hehe. ayun, sa huli, fr. jboy told me to talk to him. which i will definitely do. im just waiting for tomorrow.. after kase ng talk namin kanina, he ran pa to Payatas, somebody he knows died kase and he has to say a mass there. God bless his soul.

hay, i dont know where im leading you guys with this pagdadramang kwento. i think i should end this na muna. ill just post again.. whenever i feel again. hehe.

Basta. All the things that are happening to me right now are blessings, one way or another, may nakatagong lesson sa lahat. Although we all know this, i just want to say it again na, God is always with us, smiling at us, waiting for us, and loving us. Love You Lord Jesus! Hi to my mom & dad! ^_^

God bless everyone!